How Could You Think That?

Okay. Okay. I've been writing a lot actually. I usually post it for about ten minutes and realize I shouldn't expose such feelings and information, so i keep all of this good work private, for nobody to read, forever. It's all really dark, sad, and heavy because I guess that's how ive been feeling lately, but not really at the sametime? Damn, who knows.

The trip I took to Northern California took more out of me than what I took out of it. I can't handle the cold anymore. My strong body has taken it's will to get through harsh weather away from me. So I curled up and cried. I was alone in that room, with the door cracked in case somebody noticed me and wanted to comfort me. I didn't want to ask for the attention because i've sort of lost that right with the people I was with and I didn't even know why i was crying. As my tears got more and more painful, I squeezed my body into a tighter fetal position, still shivering, cold down to the bone. Raphael heard me crying while he was in the bathroom and rushed into the room to see what was wrong.
"I guess I'm just cold and it's making me sad. I don't know."
"Look, Nay..."
"She doesn't bother me. You guys don't bother me."
"I can tell you're uneasy. I know you."
"You think I would of left you if you moving on would bother me?"

And that was closure for us for the hundreth time or something.
If I never see him again, this won't have to happen again. It's simple.