I saved it.

It's so very important that i take the time to write now.

I'm going through some serious changes. They aren't good or bad. They're not induced by anything or anyone. Like drugs or boys or something.

I've just been different.

Have you ever had a song written about you?
I have
And did it go into way too much detail?
Yes.

But the fucked up part is, I actually like it and it's written really well and i've read the lyrics over 50 times. See how I am?
He knew.

Perhaps I can't get over how fucking true it is. Nails it. Pins me. It choked me. I called Tricia into my room and made her read it. I walked away, paced, and thought, "damn, that shit took him months, I bet"
She looked at me and said, "wow".

But see, you left out the terrible shit you did. You left out how badly you hurt me. You left out how low I've been feeling since December and January.

And while I was pacing up and down my hall, I left out that I'm doing great. I'm doing so fucking great without you, since you, whatever you. I'm like queen of the fucking world right now, a champ, a super star.


These are all things that happen.
...to Nay.


How often do you get a song written about you? haha. I guess I do a lot...




New song: I Wished (She Wished). Recording soon.

Start ~15s

She wished someone would save her,
caught up in the city life.
Stuck shacked up living with her ex,
plus working late nights.

She wished for superman,
to fly in, sweep her off her feet,
it's just so hard to be alone,
in cities full of sheep.

I wished for happiness,
I'd finally found serenity,
I'd faced the demons,
and I knew they were inside of me.

I wished for time,
I needed minutes just to sort it out.
Not the antagonist,
Eliminating this self-doubt.

She made an accidental text,
It was the wrong Paul,
And new Paul changed,
and he forgave, it was his downfall.

I wished to warn her,
man, I wished to tell her run away,
cause I'm possessed when I'm in love,
and this won't be Okay.

--Break ~1'15

She wished I'd come and save her,
I became her superman.
We'd ditch the city, fall in love,
that was her master plan.

Said are you sure?
That SF city's so magnificent!
Why not just ditch your ex,
and take up a new residence?

She made a promise,
no mistaking this as love true,
I wished so badly to believe,
I'm sure she did too.

And so I wished, and wished
I wished like only fools do.
And then I took her on her word,
and hoped we'd pull through.

She wished he'd text her,
cause she knew she couldn't be forgot.
and when he did,
the wind blew open all her raveled plots.

I wished they'd stop,
the fucked up pictures running in my head,
telling stories in a book I wished
I never read.

--Break ~2'18

I wished I wasn't so alone,
I could have severed ties,
She preys on guys like us,
we'll stick around, believe the lies.

She wished I'd get the hint,
she only talks up other dudes,
she needs to be the victim,
it's her most successful ruse.

I wished I could admit,
to all the things that happened next,
I wished it didn't haunt me,
every night with every breathe.

I wished I'd just ignored the pain,
and stayed the straight path,
wished I could love her unconditional,
and that's that.

I wished I didn't see a monster,
when I see my face.
I wished I'd wrote it all in pencil,
it could be erased.

I wished I'd left her, man
I wished I'd ran with no regrets.
I wished I could forget her looks,
of when we first met.