May Sucks

I'm not sure why the universe keeps putting me in scenarios that make me realize I don't have family. It's been hard on me lately, feeling defeated and small and all.

I sped down HWY 111 to the ER off of Country Club and Bob Hope. I've never been there for myself other than the time I fainted sophomore year from extreme stress and too much thinking. By the time I got to the ER that time, I had come-to and my grandparents were there to calm me down. This time the tears kept falling and falling, the pain got deeper and deeper, and I felt more and more alone at each red light that I hit. I was scared and needed someone, but I didn't make the effort to get anyone to come with me. I just wanted someone to be there because they are already there with me all the time, you know?
But i guess i don't have someone like that right now. Not really.
So I called my grandpa and he wasn't sensitive enough. I needed him to be more worried. But that was my grandma's job and my grandpa has always thought I was a hypochondriac anyway.

I was so annoyed with the amount I was crying. I mean, nothing I tried would calm me down and I didn't want to pop a pill because they'd know and that'd be a whole other ordeal. So i sat there, breathing hard, shaking, and pacing. A sympathetic nurse noticed and next thing I knew, I was wheeled away, with a small hollow tube feeding me an anti-anxiety medicine, a pain killer, and vitamins. I was feeling good, still crying, still scared, but it was all masked.

And as always, a mother of a boy who used to be in my life came to the rescue.
And it never fails, they always say, "Well, I can be your mom."
So now I have three of those.

The slightly small, not so important issue is, none of their sons want me anymore.
But all of them would gladly fuck me.

Cool.

I'll be back with more. Vicoden is starting to kick in now.